Sept. 22 (UPI) — Taylor Frankie Paul has left the reality TV show, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, after five seasons.

The news comes after months of domestic abuse and drug use allegations against Paul, which also led to the cancellation of her planned season of The Bachelorette.

“My gratitude goes to all the networks that supported me throughout this and gave me the chance to return. However I don’t desire to move forward like this. I originally was willing to be removed to let them all continue on with less stress and I’m back to that point,” Paul said in an Instagram post Monday.

“Some of the girls know what I’ve been through and then to turn and collectively pile on with their ‘statements’ knowing there has been ongoing abuse through the system the last 8 months on top of what I’ve endured. Almost the entire cast plus some, going at me….laughing about my kids is disgusting,” she added.

“And I bit my tongue there. These same people had meetings telling me I need to lead the way of pay….my voice was the only one that can make it happen and then they would work from what I demanded. I’m grateful I never followed through with their requests of demands and I’m grateful I kept same pay out of fairness and integrity.”

She went on to say she always treated the people who worked on the show with respect and she wishes everyone well in Season 6, which is now filming.

“It’s a pleasure to remove myself so they can continue, because I’ve almost convinced myself I’m deserving of all this pain and to a certain degree absolutely this is consequences of my actions,” Paul wrote.

“My question has been how much suffering and scrutiny is going to be enough…I’m just relieved to be out.”