Saturday Night Live kicked off its latest show, riffing on both First Lady Melania Trump’s out-of-the-blue Jeffrey Epstein message and the so-far unsuccessful peace negotiations between Iran and the U.S.
The show’s cold open began with Ashley Padilla playing White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, who is preparing President Donald Trump’s infamous tweet threatening to destroy the entire Iranian civilization ahead of the two-week ceasefire agreement.
After dismissing the press secretary, Trump — played once again by James Austin Johnson — makes a call to Tiger Woods as played by Kenan Thompson for a quick laugh about the golfer’s recent DUI scandal.
The “president” hangs up on Thompson’s Woods, after which the president’s phone rings. The number isn’t one he recognizes.
“Who’s this? I don’t recognize the number,” the faux Trump says.
Upon answering, he is greeted by Chloe Fineman’s take on First Lady Melania Trump.
“You’re calling me? That’s not a good sign,” Johnson’s Trump says.
Fineman’s Melania explains that she wants to hold a seemingly unprompted press conference at the White House, strongly denying any connection between her and Jeffrey Epstein.
“Uh, darling, I gotta admit, this sounds a little insane,” Johnson’s Trump replies. “Who are you? Me?”
But Fineman’s Melania continued, suggesting it might be good to distance herself not just from Epstein, but also the Gilgo Beach serial killer.
“I thought I could also say, ‘I, Melania Trump, in no way, helped out the Gilgo Beach serial killer.’ That way, no one is suspicious,” the faux first lady says.
Johnson’s Trump is once again skeptical of the strategy.
“Darling, I think that’s gonna make everyone way more suspicious,” he says.
Johnson’s Trump bails on his wife’s call and rings Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, as played by Colin Jost. The song “All-Star” by Smash Mouth serves as Hegseth’s ringtone.
After Johnson’s Trump asks how things in Iran are going, Jost’s Hegseth assures him that “Iran is as obliterated as me every Saturday night, allegedly.”
The fake Hegseth is perturbed that the U.S. is negotiating with Iran, but Johnson’s Trump assures him he’s rigged the negotiations by sending in his “secret weapon,” Vice President JD Vance.
“After those Iranians spend 20 hours talking to JD they said, ‘Please, sir, just go back to bombing us,'” Johnson’s Trump says.
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